Game Analyst Pillows

'No, Joyce, it's not over yet. ... And for the last time, I have no idea who's going to win - it's a seesaw battle.'

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

'Then I remarked how good it was that the linebacker faked the blitz then dropped back into coverage. You should have seen his face. It was like I'd taken away his G.I Joe and put a dress on it.'

'The object is to get the ball into either of those two nets.' - 'It would help if the men didn't get in each other's way so much.'

'I can't find anything against it in the rule book!'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Cricket Accidents.

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

The Other Cooperstown

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'...I don't like your chances!'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

Centaur Forward

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

'Nice tackle, Dewey! You knocked the fur ball out of him!'

Wilfried Zaha

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

Lost Season

Basketball.

The commentators want to run the officials...

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."