Game Rule Analyst Pillows

Football will be penalised...

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

The commentators want to run the officials...

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

"Mam? What's love juice?"

'We're in a hurry.'

'Out. How come?' - 'Off side.'

At last he had found the Regulatory Guidelines.

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

'The object is to get the ball into either of those two nets.' - 'It would help if the men didn't get in each other's way so much.'

'Diet Plan Rule number one: Stop using ice cream truck music as your ringtone.'

'-and remember,under any circumstances, NO extra time!'

"It may not be a balk, but it's something."

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

'You're missing a few commandments.'

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

"No Bald Games"

'Oh for Pete's sake. This ain't nuclear science, gentlemen. I'll read it one more time, but pay attention... 'the infield fly rule is in effect if there is less than two outs and runners on first and second'...'

"We learned about the 10 commandments, but I bet my parents will add a few of there own!"

"Sorry, I don't know what a handball is anymore either."

'How about this one? †'Everybody has to wear plaid socks on Tuesdays.''

'If you remove all the gray areas, you take all the fun out of the law.'

The referee...

"Er...Can you remind me of the offside laws officer?"

'That does it... Now I'm definitely going to become a lawyer.'

'Oh, that place...? we shut that down AGES ago!'