Tough Love Practitioner Pillows

"It's been a tough season, and you tried your hardest, son. But you're being traded."

Ice Cream Surgeon

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

Junior Doctor.

"I'm diagnosing selfie-steem issues."

'I find the best way to get them to grow up is to buy them a 1-way ticket to Europe, and let them work their way back.'

"Your wife called again about that thing called love - I said you were dealing with it."

"This ride is for parents and their kids."

Playing Doctors.

"Mother believed in tough love. She was always there for me when I needed a cold shoulder to cry on."

'Sorry to interrupt - your monastery is on fire...the IRS wants to talk to you - and something about a missing case of wine.'

"Race you to the spleen!"

"OK - I'll say it again - I love you even more than my p******* hour."

"Let's stop this before we both say a lot of things we mean."

"You've always let me down in this marriage."

Emotional sabotage animals.

'Sorry to interrupt, but this is our sixth session and that's your third notepad. When do I get to say something?'

"You haven’t earned this."

"It's not real meditation when you SMIRK like that!"

Yoga Class: Position Vacant

"Sometimes I think you only married me because I lived next door!"

'Mind if I cut in?'

"These feet are fine. You have at least a couple of route marches left in them."

'There, there, dear -- they're all alike.'

'For goodness sake, Harry. All the child wants to do is take out your appendix.'

"I know you think I'm tough on you now, son. But you'il be much better prepared for life when I disinherit you."

'I'm being a good boy for the sake their marriage.'

'It was a wonderful evening, Jack...please don't spoil it by asking for a promotion.'

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

"You have to admit, it was funny...even the paramedics were laughing!"

"Is there something you'd like to talk about, Gerald?"

"I don't know, I've never tried?"

"You mean those were your hopes and dreams?"