Tough Love Strategist Pillows

'I find the best way to get them to grow up is to buy them a 1-way ticket to Europe, and let them work their way back.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

"Why won't you cuddle?"

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

'Thanks for inviting me round to watch tv. Where is it?'

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

Dating the efficiency expert.

'It would never work, Tommy - you have all the growth funds and mine are all value...'

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Mergers or acquisitions.

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

Single girl in wedding dress trying to catch a bachelor.

Marriage counselor, living together counselor or a just screwing around counselor.

"But gosh, Ursula, together we'd be exactly what every major advertiser is trying to reach."

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

"No, I don't think our marriage would benefit from a mission statement."

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

'You're in luck - My parents like you.'

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

'I'm thinking merger.'

"I married for contrast."

"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."

'What does the Scout manual say about this situation?'

'When you play hard to get you really mean it, don't you?'