Self-love Practitioner Pillows

"I'm diagnosing selfie-steem issues."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

Woman looking into a mirror

INSTANT GREY HAIR TREATMENT.

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

"Does this make me think I look good?"

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

Me when by BDD shows up

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

Mankini - One size fits all.

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

Narcissus' Cat.

"Gracie, can you make me soar?"

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

"Do you promise to love and comfort yourself, on good days and bad, for richer, for poorer, in weight gain and loss, as long as you shall live?"

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

Development of disgusting new flaws. Loving acceptance of your flaws.

"Good morning, folks, this is Captain Holwood from the flight deck. We'll be cruising at thirty-five thousand feet today, and I'll be finally taking control of my life, struggling to satisfy the needs of only one person—me!"

"I hope I'm single for Valentine's because only I fully know my worth in chocolate."

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, I rely on placebos to get me through the day."

'I want to be yummy mummified.'

'I'm at the age when everything Mother Nature gave Father Time is taking away...'

I hate the spring ritual of not being able to wear a bulky sweater to cover the weight I've gained during the winter.

"Have you ever thought of your needs first?"

Narcissus discovers t-shirts

"Can't do 3 p.m. — I'm scheduled for a migraine."

"If you love yourself then you'll never be alone."

"Girlfriend, you're not fat. You're just retaining a little water."

Self Love Witch

'When I call for the time and temperature, they say 'Who wants to know?''