Touchdown Tribe Pillows

At least Sunday is still a holy day.

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

Input From The Front Office

American Football.

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

Punishment for the kicker.

Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

Megan Anna Rapinoe

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

"You're back! You're really back...!"

'My turn! Kick me next!!'

"I love group...however, I don't feel that everyone honors my right to express my fears."

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also getting compensation for closed-head injuries."

Friendly fire!

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

Football

"A four-year, $60 million contract and he can't even do a decent end-zone dance!"

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

'Look up... Look down... Look at my thumb. Gee, You're...'

Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"

Head Coach, Offensive Coordinator, Post-Touchdown Choreographer