Tortoise Wrangler Gifts

Walking a tortoise. 'The doctor told me to take it easy.'

The Baby Walker

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

Kid tries to lasso a cat

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

The First Day Back

"Well, you said you wanted something to remove spiders from the bath!"

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

Nanny with children on leash

'Did you want me, boss?'

"About time they did something about the rats!"

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

"Travellin' through?"

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

Snake Dress-Up

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey - it's part of the aging process.'

'I think the temperature's a bit low in the Terrarium!'

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'