Tortoise Time Travelers Gifts

Pets past...Did you know?

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"The Ice Age must've caught him by surprise..."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

The Missing Sock Returns

Second hand furniture.

E=mc2.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Eat my dust!"

Sundial Time

Time for vacation, time for work.

"Early model of baggage claim"

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Danger Slow Sand.

"I don't know who you are!"

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'