Tool Time Traveler Gifts

You've Got Nail!

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

D.I.Y

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

Reality home-improvement show.

Tool Use in Primates

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

Moses on the web

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"We're following Carrot Top."

Second hand furniture.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Sundial Time

Time for vacation, time for work.

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Early model of baggage claim"

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Danger Slow Sand.

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"I don't know who you are!"

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."