Tortoise Time Travelers T-Shirts

Pets past...Did you know?

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"The Ice Age must've caught him by surprise..."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Second hand furniture.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

Sundial Time

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Eat my dust!"

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

Time for vacation, time for work.

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

Danger Slow Sand.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"I don't know who you are!"

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"