Time Traveller T-Shirts

'That one always runs fast.'

"Google says it's some form of ancient timing device."

"I told you I wasn't a hunter-gatherer, I'm an accountant."

'Nice invention, but what about jet lag?'

'Look, can I see you today? Tomorrow's not good for me.'

Sand clock and Pyramids

"Yes, it's half past two - is that all?"

"This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?"

"24 hour service. Yes, that's how long it takes us to prepare your pub lunch."

Sand Of Time

"....And here we are in one of the older parts of the city..."

2012 arrives too soon.

"It's a leap year, so an extra week's added to the calendar."

"I'm running late, my Uber driver's car broke down."

"You'll get over him."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"We're following Carrot Top."

Second hand furniture.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

Time for vacation, time for work.

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

Sundial Time

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Early model of baggage claim"

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Danger Slow Sand.