Toothpaste Warriors T-Shirts

Ten warning signs of periodontal disease.

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

Toothbrush Romance

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

Bedtime Of The Gods

"Please point out the problem tooth."

'Stop! Wait 'til he finishes cleaning my teeth!'

Steven Tyler's toothbrush.

Red wine teeth

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

'I used some of that stripy toothpaste. Now I have striped teeth!'

"Did I set the table right? Fork, knife, tooth brush?"

"I want her home by 11:00 and not a single squeeze mark on her!"

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

'I like Dr. Keener. He's a good loser.'

Stalin's toothpaste: USSR

Want to be like 'White Fang'? Brush with Calgote!

'I do try to walk more! The donut shop is a good 1/2 block further tan the health food store!'

'But toothache is the worst!'

"It's the modern dentist's name for x-rays."

'Someone must have called him yellow again.'

'I'm sick of people always saying you're better than me!'

Toothpaste mental shutdown.

Rebel fighter using dissident toothpaste.

'At the next feeding frenzy, give yourself an edge on the competition with the new 'Dyna-tooth' paste.'

'Egads, Fenton! You gave me room-temperature toothpaste.'

'Just think what Casanova could have done if he'd had access to whitening toothpaste and masculine after shave.'

'I've rally been hit hard - the price of toothpaste has gone through the roof.'

"Did you folks enjoy your 'death by chocolate'?"

"But I had to eat all the cookies. I'm in training for Halloween!"

"Don't get your hopes up, Buster."