Toothpaste Warriors T-Shirts

Ten warning signs of periodontal disease.

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

Toothbrush Romance

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

Bedtime Of The Gods

'Stop! Wait 'til he finishes cleaning my teeth!'

"Please point out the problem tooth."

Steven Tyler's toothbrush.

Red wine teeth

"Did I set the table right? Fork, knife, tooth brush?"

'I used some of that stripy toothpaste. Now I have striped teeth!'

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

"I want her home by 11:00 and not a single squeeze mark on her!"

'For best results, squeeze from the bottom.'

'I like Dr. Keener. He's a good loser.'

"It's the modern dentist's name for x-rays."

Want to be like 'White Fang'? Brush with Calgote!

Stalin's toothpaste: USSR

'But toothache is the worst!'

'I do try to walk more! The donut shop is a good 1/2 block further tan the health food store!'

'Someone must have called him yellow again.'

'I'm sick of people always saying you're better than me!'

'Just think what Casanova could have done if he'd had access to whitening toothpaste and masculine after shave.'

Toothpaste mental shutdown.

"But I had to eat all the cookies. I'm in training for Halloween!"

'I've rally been hit hard - the price of toothpaste has gone through the roof.'

"Don't get your hopes up, Buster."

'Egads, Fenton! You gave me room-temperature toothpaste.'

Rebel fighter using dissident toothpaste.

'At the next feeding frenzy, give yourself an edge on the competition with the new 'Dyna-tooth' paste.'

'My assistant just quit. Said you were looking at her funny.'