Toolbox Tumbleweed Pillows

'He may be a brilliant academician, but he's even dumber than the rest of us when he tries to do anything practical around the house.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

Building business relations.

Guide to Carpentry Fish

D.I.Y with dad.

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

"Okay guys you have your assignments. Let's get cracking!"

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

Fiction for Plumbers

Too posh for Alderley Edge!

"Something tells me this isn't the 'Good Cop'."

Handy-lion

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

'Ah! This is the Texas I remember!'

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

'No breakfast until you're finished making your bed, Joey.'

"You've given me quite a turn. . . !"

'That's Oog -- the poor sam invented garden tools.'

'I play heavy metal.'

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

"It's good he has only simple tools. He usually gives up before he does much damage."

'Wow! I'm trying to fix my glasses with contact solution instead of super glue!'

'No, we're owned by a non profit poundation.'

"What a rip-off."

Nail and Hammer

Joe was so poor, his dog was a tumbleweed.

The He-Man Bag

Nun hammering with a crucifix