Tumbleweed Trainer Pillows

Joe was so poor, his dog was a tumbleweed.

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

The Games Man: He spends many hours studying minute aquatic flies...which his trout very rarely eat.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

"Trust me, boss, he knows his pies...he just needs more retraining."

'Sorry, chubs, but those little circles you do before lying down don't cut it as exercise.'

Woman on diet being chased by temptation.

'Ah! This is the Texas I remember!'

Gardening Tips - training fruit trees can greatly increase their yield

'He may be a brilliant academician, but he's even dumber than the rest of us when he tries to do anything practical around the house.'

All of a sudden Roger remembered... he had forgotten to feed Bobo!

"The next time you teach Rex to fetch the paper, make sure it's just our paper!"

'Are you a football fan?'

What do animal trainers do?

'You don't see any for hours, then three come along at once.'

"Can somebody. . . hello?. . . can somebody call the dog. . . hello? . . ."

"Really? I didn't know you could house train them"

'On your mark...'

Heel, sir!

Motivating a Tortoise.

"There's tumbleweed coming out of your computer screen. Now do you believe your website is like a ghost town?"

"The tumble weed probably set it off."

"We're off to the tweed bar."

'I taught junior high for fifteen years.'

'Isn't that nice? My wife bought me a brand new tweed jacket!'

'The hardest thing about learning to tumble is the floor.'