Tool Wrangler Gifts

"What's it like, working with your hands?"

'Lose another wrench to that black hole that sucks up all tools the instant you drop it?'

New Guy.

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

A trevor of trainspotters

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'Ah, the Bermuda Rectangle for files.'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"Well, I've finished the project on time and on budget!" "That means I've given you too much time and too much money!"

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

'Did you want me, boss?'

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

Toastquest!

"I handle chatty people for him."

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

You want tech support. This is mockery and belittlement.

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

Student rakes leaveslaundry in dorm room.

"Kick the machine"

'It's for you.'

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

"What's in the pipeline? Everything's stuck in the pipeline!"

The opinion poll ltd.

'Old Doc gets tired after a hundred head or so, and we try to help him out.'

"I'm coming - I just need some 'me' time."

As Farmer Ron wondered where his cows had gone, somebody started the truck.

'It was just a matter of time, old cowpuncher, 'til one of them punched back.'