Tongue-in-cheek Legalist Gifts

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

No-Work Orange

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

Procrastinators Incorporated

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

'Marriage? With all your pre-existing conditions Reggie, my HMO would never approve of you'

"Let's take in a trial."

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

'We need someone on the outside.'

Husband / Wife / On The Side

Tree funeral.

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

The Three Doctors.

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

Roman Golfer.

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

Burke and Hare and Hare

The Cheshire Dog.

"No Bald Games"

"If you like the baby pictures you should see the 'Making Of' video!"

'I feel really close to nature with the wood-burning stove.'

Barristers playing children's games during the long vacation

"Don’t you dare talk to your father in all caps young lady!"

"We've travelled the world looking for our next C.E.O., as was foretold in our corporate legends. We think your little Tim might be that C.E.O."

"Come on and pay for the shopping like a man."

"There really is no need for confusion about the change in the enforcement of this law. Part 95 of section 33 of article Q in the manual quite clearly states ..."

Kissing Booth

"Why feel bad? We do actually need to eat, and they'll never even know there was a twin."