Tombstone Reader Pillows

I had better days. R.I.P.

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

'Ol' Pete was an angler to the end.'

Can I have a look at the map?

Maternity ward.

'Are you going exploring or retrieving a duck?'

"Javert" Would Like To Use Your Current Location

'So much for your internal compass.'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"I dropped my goblet!"

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

Manual Labor.

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

"It's Shakespeare, Mother - please do't keep moaning 'Oh get on with it'!"

'Exactly what the forecast on telly.'

"I don't care what the map says, this isn't Sheffield."

Lab rat in maze, sees 'you are here' map.

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

You're Here. Man, You Really Look Like An Idiot!

"Do you get the feeling we're being watched?"

"You're a surprisingly good kisser for having two different dead guys' lips."