Obituary Reader Pillows

The end is nigh - Obit.

Gen-Next Library

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

'My daughter says I'm hopelessly outdated...'

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."

'Bront?saurus.'

Jane Austen

"Boy, these are really overdue!"

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

Cat reading Rommel biography.

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

'What are you staring at? . . . Please save me from the English majors.'

Books*. *Batteries not included.

Romy Schneider

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'

"Books are tricky. You can't text with a text book and you can't call with a phone book!"

What's that, Lance? It's called a newspaper. It's like a Kindle, but instead of your fingers leaving smudges, they get smudged.

You read the instruction manual for a video game for your book report?

'Oh darling, it is not an ibook, it is only a book.'

'And to my no good nephew Milo, who thought he was going to get all my cash - lots of luck!'

'Of course I know how to read the water, but I my glasses fell overboard.'

"I see by your copy of 'Newsweek' that Lyndon Johnson has decided not to run for reelection."

'Lost your kindle in the cab? Try my outdated destined-for-extinction, low-priced print edition.'

"Actually, I'm sitting here reading a book—just to see if I can still do it."

"You in there! This is the Microsoft Police. Throw out your books and come out with your hands up."