Tombstone Contemplator Pillows

Born Rich, Stayed Rich, Died Rich.

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'Ol' Pete was an angler to the end.'

Professional woman in pub

Differing thoughts of male and female.

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

"Son when I'm gone, all this will be yours!"

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

'He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, who cares...'

I had better days. R.I.P.

RIP Salvador Dali 1904-1989

"What a lot of people don't realize is that I actually enjoy an incredibly rich interior life."

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

'But Mabel, I distinctly remember that the vicar said 'till death us do part...''

Prayers For Agnostics

'I think he would have wanted it that way.'

Meredith Smits. Devoted wife, mother and worry wart. Did I leave the iron on?...

"Yeah, you're right, these can cause long term health issues. But trust me, for you that's not gonna be a problem."

"Should we just write them off as a tragic mistake..?"

'We may be good eggs, but we're not perfect. We all have a fallen nature.'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"My legacy? I've consistently avoided being labelled as 'compassionate' anything."

Really? A date with me is like a religious experience? How so? It reminds me of snake-handling.

'The one thing you have got going for you is there's no family history of longevity.'

'You could at least have waited until I put on my make-up!'

"... And why can't I take it with me?"

"I just heard that when you die your social security checks stop!"

'Okay, you may have had a state funeral, but who's got the easy chair?'

"Father, I would like to go to confession with you!"

My Other Gravestone's Marble

"Oh, a guy paid me to take his place here."

'What do you mean I'm not allowed to be indifferent about the Olympics?'

"He always was a hugger."