Tombstone Contemplator Pillows

Born Rich, Stayed Rich, Died Rich.

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'Ol' Pete was an angler to the end.'

Professional woman in pub

Differing thoughts of male and female.

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

"Son when I'm gone, all this will be yours!"

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

'He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, who cares...'

RIP Salvador Dali 1904-1989

I had better days. R.I.P.

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

'But Mabel, I distinctly remember that the vicar said 'till death us do part...''

"What a lot of people don't realize is that I actually enjoy an incredibly rich interior life."

Prayers For Agnostics

'I think he would have wanted it that way.'

"Should we just write them off as a tragic mistake..?"

"Yeah, you're right, these can cause long term health issues. But trust me, for you that's not gonna be a problem."

"My legacy? I've consistently avoided being labelled as 'compassionate' anything."

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

'You could at least have waited until I put on my make-up!'

'The one thing you have got going for you is there's no family history of longevity.'

"Oh, a guy paid me to take his place here."

"Father, I would like to go to confession with you!"

"... And why can't I take it with me?"

'Okay, you may have had a state funeral, but who's got the easy chair?'

My Other Gravestone's Marble

"I just heard that when you die your social security checks stop!"

'What do you mean I'm not allowed to be indifferent about the Olympics?'

"He always was a hugger."

"Hmmm... I've NEVER like Blue Oyster Cult..."