Tomb Raider Fan T-Shirts

'Don't think I can't see you, hiding at the back there - you're cursed too.'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Silence of the Chickens...

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

Jester Surgeon

Frankenstein's Monster's PC.

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

Open House of Horrors

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

Monsters looking for a new bed to move under.

"There's a loose string on your sweater, dear, but I'm afraid to pull it."

Zombie Problems

Ghostship

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'Regular or decapitated?'

'The whole office is slack-jawed and drooling! It's either a zombie invasion or that smooth jazz you play on the intercom.'

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

'I'll be the back yard cutting firewood. Have you seen my protective goggles?. . .Well, luckily I kept my old hockey mask!'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

Batman tissue dispenser.

Meryl Streep

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

"Do you think the world really is going to hell, or are we just getting old?"

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

'And so you can imagine our surprise when we discovered our hall closet was the gateway to hell!'

"Oh, Irwin, I wish to god you'd get rid of that thing!"

'I am beginning my windup now. ... Drum roll, please.'