Toaster Fan Gifts

Toast Coming To Work

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Non-Humble Pie.

"Lemon 'merengue' pies"

'Mom, what setting do you use for warming up slippers?'

"I'm a monster."

"Fridge-to-table"

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

A Cumulonim-bus

'The Search ended today when the authorities traced the runaway pair. . .'

'After the party Bob never saw the remote again. Luckily he'd spent big on bread sticks.'

'Well, Tom, your blood sugar is way too high!'

'I'll take the S. O. S. breakfast special...hold the shingle.'

Have you seen this toaster?

Ace Cryogenics (Giant toaster).

'Long term I like tech and the financial sector. Short term I like a toasted bagel and gourmet coffee.'

'I like making pastry. It gets your hands clean.'

"The Toast Whisperer"

"See? Now there's a great example of adaptability."

'Why does this crazy human keep throwing away my stick?'

Thank God it's Fry Day.

Paris is baffled - how did the best French secret agent "blow" his cover?

'Do you think I'm conceited?' 'No,why?' 'Girls that are pretty and intelligent sometimes are conceited.'

The Life Cycle of Cholent

Girls learn to feed themselves earlier than boys do.

Toast with tanlines

Medusa, first thing in the morning.

"I have a food intolerance - I can only eat photogenic food."