Toad Tally-er T-Shirts

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

'You've got lot toe!'

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

Potatoes.

Toad a la mode: 'Hey! He keeps the flies off!'

'That's right, the Princess kissed me by mistake: She didn't know the difference between a frog and a toad...'

Dog tallying his score against the mailman.

"I didn't think you'd make it through biology."

'Open it... I think they have to go potty.'

'My god, he's insane.'

"He makes it look so easy."

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

"It's nice when all the kids get together at Christmas, but..."

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

Corn and Bunion plants.

An exciting online development for people with foot fetishes: Footbook.

Drink kills.

"That's my lunch."

'It's the worse case of in-growing toe nails I've ever seen, nurse!'

Podiatry. If the frostbite was any worse we'd have to amputate. You just barely stayed out of the "toe away" zone!

They waited as Allen tabulated how much the meal had cost per bite.

Trolley Rage.

That's a nasty outgoing toenail you've got there.'

"Honestly, it felt like Dry January was never going to end."

'Have you anything alcohol-free, I'm trying to detox?'

"Everyone has a good word for her."

'Wrong address I'm afraid - I've been on the wagon for 25 years.'