Tithe Titters Pillows

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Why do they prefer a pitcher to a belly itcher? Everyone loves a belly itcher!

"Did you get that text I sent asking you to turn around?"

Racketeer

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

Yeah, ok. I'll hold onto the two termites until this is over.

'Please don't encourage them: Stop trying to communicate with them...'

"It's shrinkflation!"

'What's this, lad? Didn't I tell you not to carry anything heavy!'

'I understand how I was born; I want to know why.'

'I really don't miss the water cooler.'

"I was comped."

Fishermen catching each other as fish looks on.

Don't think of it as tithing. Think of it as a cover charge.

'Sorry we couldn't make the service but we enjoyed your inspirational twitter,'

"It's called tithing, not a flat tax of 10%."

"It's not about the cat door, is it? It's a 'who is the pet and who is the owner' thing..."

Cat Philosophers

"You think you're addicted to Twitter? I'm sorry, I don't follow you."

"You ask why I'm on your counter but I might as easily ask why you're on my floor."

"I'll be home soon, Sweetcake!"

The termites mated!

Tweet Others As You Would Have Them Tweet You.

'Let's go somewhere where we can text each other.'

"This is Donald. Donald's a friend. Not a real friend-just a Facebook friend."

'You skimmed my tweet.'

"Will we have access to this money in the afterlife?"