Tireless Parent Pillows

"The commute is rough today."

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

'Keep in mind, some assembly is required.'

'The stuka brought you.'

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"I wonder what he dreams about...Squirrels I bet."

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

"Sorry Mom, but I really need to take this call."

'Congatulations! It's a PDA!'

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

"Look Daddy, at least the poor economy hasn't affected the Tooth Fairy yet!"

"The kids? They're great! Karen got retweeted by a famous YouTuber and Timmy just hit 16K Insta followers. They start influencing so quickly, don't they?"

'I'm too tired to listen to a story tonight, mom. Just e-mail something and I'll read it tomorrow.'

'I need some tech support here!'

"I'll plug you in, tell you a bedtime algorithm, then LEDs out."

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

"They came home and got straight on with their homework - apparently it's the latest craze."

'That's my boy! An A+ in 'spell-checking'!'

"Mom, there's a monster under my bed. Can we keep it?"

Designer Baby.

Heimlich's Mother's Maneuvers

'It used to be enough to keep them fed and clothed. Now it's fed, clothed and connected.'

"Mom! Download this app, make an account, sign in and scan this code to see what I made for you."

'A bike this nice, I didn't think you'd mind me bathing it in your bathtub. Do you have an extra blanket, it'll be sleeping in our room.'

'I got the idea from a veterinarian friend of mine.'

"Daddy, I'm all grown up now, and I'm leaving to start a life of my own."

"Well, look at him, he's just a chip from inside the ol' bot!"

'Good morning, Dad, It's your turn to be the cowboys!'

"I'd be happy if I got half the attention and was half as clever as my kids' smartphones."

'How do you block the kids from objectionable internet content? I found a bookmark called,'DriveYourParentsInsane'.'

"How many times did I tell you? Don't put the outdated chargers in the drawer for broken headphones."