Tech-tired Parent Pillows

"I'd be happy if I got half the attention and was half as clever as my kids' smartphones."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

The cell phone soother for life.

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

The Digital Family

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"The Internet ate my baby!"

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

'Keep in mind, some assembly is required.'

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

'Your son stopped passing notes to his friends in class. Now he's text messaging them.'

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

"Go ask your search engine."

Newborn Uses Smartphone To Send His Dad A Text Message.

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

Waiting Room

Whatcha doing, dad? I'm at work. Logging on. Tree's Tree Nursery.