Tire Technician Pillows

Formula One soccer

Man to mechanic: 'The hubcaps are child-proof.'

"How about a self-inflating-a-flat-tire car?"

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Take me to your mechanic."

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

Organic Soldering.

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Computer operator welding machine.

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

"Nap time."

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

'Difficulty getting started in the morning, stalling, various leaks, gas fumes...at this point Mrs Johnson, I'd recommend getting a new husband!'

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

"See, that's your problem right there - the roof is mostly sugar."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

'Well, it wasn't the motor -- I'll try replacing the other stuff.'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

Caveman wheel repairers.