Tire Technician Pillows

Formula One soccer

Man to mechanic: 'The hubcaps are child-proof.'

"How about a self-inflating-a-flat-tire car?"

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Take me to your mechanic."

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Organic Soldering.

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Computer operator welding machine.

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

'Hi Terry. Quick question about that new gearbox you put in my Polo last week.'

"Nap time."

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

'Difficulty getting started in the morning, stalling, various leaks, gas fumes...at this point Mrs Johnson, I'd recommend getting a new husband!'

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"See, that's your problem right there - the roof is mostly sugar."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

'Well, it wasn't the motor -- I'll try replacing the other stuff.'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

'No Mam. The service charge does not include a change of oil.'