Tire Salesman Pillows

Driver to tire salesman: 'I drive on a lot of rough roads. How much to pave the tires?'

Larry's used art

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

Mister Pretty Shoes

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

Mohammad's motors

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

It's great for pulling the birds!

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'God's speed.'

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

'How about a nice saloon?'

'And here's the toolkit.'

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

"Jerk." "Jackass." "Screw you." "Bite me."

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

'I found our eight year old sales goals, and we're almost there.'

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages