Tyre Fitter Pillows

Tyre fitter.

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

'Sorry, I'm afraid it was a false alarm. It turns out that 'the emergency gas leak' was my husband.'

'Do these come in blue?'

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

'Forget about going to the store for a bicycle patch. I used one of your nicotine patches.'

'When I was ready to read, they taught me to tie my shoes - when I was ready to tie my shoes, they taught me to read.'

Which one? The Times? The Post? Maybe The Tribune? Oh, Phil - Picking out a carpet is so difficult.

Formula One soccer

"How about a self-inflating-a-flat-tire car?"

Sorry, what did you say? This new double glazing will be good for noise reduction!

'Dear oh dear, what cowboy did this then?'

"You don't have to sell the farm. There are people who will pay money to lift and carry big tires."

"I'm getting a slight draught through the double glazing, you fitted for me."

Driver to tire salesman: 'I drive on a lot of rough roads. How much to pave the tires?'

Armored knight's shield Severe Tire Damage.

Carpet fitter

Man to mechanic: 'The hubcaps are child-proof.'

'I thought your quote for 'putting windows in' was cheap.'

Hair trigger

"Heel."

'All we've got in at the moment is Lincoln Green.'

'You're brakes are still a tad spongy, so I've made your horn louder.'

Shoes 'to be soled as a pair'.

"Yeah, I've been in rehub."

'It must have been the fork in the road.'

'Yes, I have a smaller shoe, do you have a smaller foot?'

Heel bar.

The Rake's Progress - The young heir takes possession of the miser's effects.

'The last of the Mohicans'