Tire Iron Jester Pillows

'The good news is that it's only flat at the bottom.'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

"#notguilty."

Beer Order

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

Bad Interview Technique

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

When Pro Athletes Enter The Workforce.

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"The job is yours. You're a jerk, we're all jerks, I think it'll be a great fit!"

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'