Ironic Jester Pillows

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"My first concern is the well-being of my crew."

"No, no, I'm just here for the relationship."

'Try and get my good side.'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Books / Coffee table books

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

'Wait while I slip on something more comfortable.'

"They're a perfect match – she's high-maintenance, and he can fix anything."

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

"Will you manage my portfolio?"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

'Make sport of the Queen.'

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

Fishing Contest

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'