Tip-savvy Pillows

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

"I'd say my favourite wine is the sixth one."

'You're right, I did overtip. Well, we'll just stiff someone at the next place.'

"Yes we have dollar drafts, no you can't use your own glass."

"Isn't it enough we tip well? Must we also like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter?"

'No Mam. The service charge does not include a change of oil.'

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

'Please remember how silly and humiliating grinding pepper is when you figure my tip.'

Thanks for the tip. Come again!

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

"This one goes out to the lovers who aren’t intimidated by my tip jar."

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

"All our ingredients are ethically sourced, so feel free to leave the sh*ttiest tip you can possibly imagine."

Liquor Store: Lean to Open.

"How much do you think I should I tip myself?"

Tip responsibly

'Owner's kid. Gets paid under the table.'

Tip Responsibly

'Man, the next hangover will kill me for sure... that's why I've decided to be drunk 24 hours a day!'

"Medicine is giving the eat-drink-and-be-merry model another look."

"It's a good idea to tip first. That way I know what level of service you expect."

'I never get tipped!'

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

"15%? We all tipped 20%"

"Thank you, sir. I see you're not hopelessly liberal."

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

"I prefer the cheap stuff."

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

"It says 'Good fortune comes to those who tip generously'."

'My Beer Expert necklace reports that this IPA is perfect, so why do I need to taste it?'