Tip Maximizer Gifts

"For bigger tips I play the violin"

Let's get organized

"It's simple supply and demand. The shorter the supply, the more money we demand."

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

Remember take time to stop and smell the profits.

Am Awful Crammer.

'That was when I closed five distribution centres, mothballed a factory and sacked 3,000 workers.'

"As you can see, we're happy with the sales report."

"How are my sales doing?"

"Thanks to my cost-cutting policies, profits are up 59%."

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

"More important than money?! There's only one thing more important than money and that's more money!"

'I'm still working on the mystery of how to make a decent living with a tip jar.'

Why is it the universe keeps expanding but there's never any room in my closet?

'A packet o' crisps, and have one for yersel'.'

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

'We're looking for a sales manager that can take our sales momentum, during December and January, and carry it over for the year.'

"I was hoping for more from you 'Mission Statement' than, 'earn a s******d of money'!"

'And I repeat. Live each day as though it were your last.'

"Good thing I listened to you and implemented the new strategy."

"Your dedication and hard work have completely turned this company around. I guess you're no longer needed."

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

"I should have paid more attention in math class."

'Oh, look, honey - the master closet has a walk-in bedroom!'

You've got to hand it to George..he NEVER lets a sale go without a fight.

"Ha! No labour costs! No production costs! Man, our profits will go up like a rocket!"

'We believe in putting people before profits. We put people in China to leave more profits here.'

Community Bed de Luxe

"These investments aren't without risk. Your mailbox might explode with prospectuses."

"I mostly rely on a collection of weird tips I've found on the internet."

"One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe."

"Only the rich can afford this much nothing."

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

Harold pushed the 25 coffee refills to the limit

'When I hired you Curtis, you were a skinny wimp. Are you sure you're not on steroids?'