Tip-master Gifts

If serving staff wrote the fortune cookies.

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"See, Og If mammoth foot ticklish, could me do this"

Champagne

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

Pint

Love wine

Mr Jefferson Brick Proposes a Toast at the 'Rowdy Journal' Offices

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

You have no experience eating lobster? Before I spend time showing you how, do you have experience tipping?

"To toast!"

"You're in luck. A slot for you just opened up in our kitchen."

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

Pint

'Our fifteenth anniversary -- the adventure continues!'

Our specials today include salad and dessert. Tip and service are NOT included.

Wine Lovers

"Honey, can you toast some muffins?"

Track runner running out of track

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

"This one goes out to the lovers who aren’t intimidated by my tip jar."

'Please remember how silly and humiliating grinding pepper is when you figure my tip.'

Printing Room

'I've had enough of these everlasting arguments - I say you're late!'

"How much do you think I should I tip myself?"

Tip responsibly

End Tipping Now!: 'I can't find a hotel that will host our convention!