Tip Collector Pillows

'I'm still working on the mystery of how to make a decent living with a tip jar.'

"I was only flirting to get..."

"I mostly rely on a collection of weird tips I've found on the internet."

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

Vendor selling testosterone.

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

Official Team Cap With Beard

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

'Does my head look big in this?'

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"I want one of those!"

"How can you say my hat is on back to front when you don't know which way I'm going to go?"

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

'Good news, Perkins! We're finally getting an automatic postage machine!'

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

Ed's Salary Cap

Octopus Baseball Fan

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

"For only five dollars more, the guy let me have the 'Smart Hammer.'"

'It's a project to develop a stamp mucilage that tastes like beef stew.. it's funded by Andy Rooney.'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2