Discipline Tip Collector Pillows

'Here's a tip for you...if Mom gives you the look, don't give it back.'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

Teapot

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Utility Chic.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"Take 4 teaspoons of this medicine every day. . ."

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

'I'm still working on the mystery of how to make a decent living with a tip jar.'

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

'This is where I keep my gum.'

The evolution of a woman's purse.

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

'I'm sorry Rex, but since getting this new stick for Christmas, I have no further need for you.'

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

Absolutely not! There's still a huge pile of sawdust on your plate and you haven't even touched your twigs yet... Until you do, there'll be no popsicle sticks for you, Lionel.

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2

"For only five dollars more, the guy let me have the 'Smart Hammer.'"

"The applications are limitless."

'Made your point.'

"I think you might need a few more tools."

Secateurs/Non-Secateurs.

"You don't like my new whistle?"

'Now we're going to test your reflexes.'