Discipline Tip Collector T-Shirts

'Here's a tip for you...if Mom gives you the look, don't give it back.'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

Teapot

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

Utility Chic.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"Take 4 teaspoons of this medicine every day. . ."

"If you want a balanced meal, you gotta plant in top soil, and rotate the crops."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

'I'm still working on the mystery of how to make a decent living with a tip jar.'

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2

"For only five dollars more, the guy let me have the 'Smart Hammer.'"

"If, in the future, you're unclear about what I need you to gather when I say nuts ..."

Absolutely not! There's still a huge pile of sawdust on your plate and you haven't even touched your twigs yet... Until you do, there'll be no popsicle sticks for you, Lionel.

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

The evolution of a woman's purse.

'I'm sorry Rex, but since getting this new stick for Christmas, I have no further need for you.'

'This is where I keep my gum.'

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

"The applications are limitless."

"You don't like my new whistle?"

'Made your point.'

Secateurs/Non-Secateurs.

"I think you might need a few more tools."