Travel Tip Collector T-Shirts

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

Scenes from a Vacation

"I cleaned out the RV. We accumulated a lot stuff since we started RVing..."

Myrtle and Moby never miss the annual RV migration.

Animal immigration

'I'm still working on the mystery of how to make a decent living with a tip jar.'

'No we are not there yet, we're just leaving our drive!'

"... But, Derek. The travel agent told us not to drink the water!"

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

Tourists

Excess Baggage: Before you laugh at those senior citizen travel groups, just try and keep up with them.

"So that's what this is all about? Frequent Flyer Miles?"

"One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe."

'Hey, Pam, what do you think? I get extra air miles for using my own transportation!'

"Awesome, yes - but what's the point? I mean, aside from the travel reward points."

"I mostly rely on a collection of weird tips I've found on the internet."

Frank and Ernest's tips for travelers. When traveling makes you congested ... call rheum service. Sniff.

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

'Here's a tip for you...if Mom gives you the look, don't give it back.'

Ten years! I told you not to ask if he had photos from his odyssey. Cyclops again … Cyclops again … oh, those are the Sirens …

We apologise for the mix-up! Normal service will resume soon!

'You're excited about winning a traveling toothbrush kit in a sweepstakes after spending $300 on postage and entering 1,500 contests?'

"I just barely managed to escape from a tribe of mad cannibals!"

'You gotta try different things! Sometimes a temper tantrum works best an' somethimes sulking an' sometimes not eating!'

American man on holiday

"I was only flirting to get..."

Excess Baggage: Welcome to Frequent Flyer Hell

Dominic Raab holiday

Excess Baggage: Getting a souvenir you never asked for is as bad as having to watch videos of someone's vacation.

"...we didn't lose your luggage, we forgot to load it."

ACE Airlines. Ask about our frequent flier bonus plan. I think it's nice of the airlines to give frequent fliers a free ticket to anywhere. They can go get their luggage.

No, that's a tourist - I only eat locally grown.

"Would you like the £40 room or the £60 room?"

'I tried it at home...'

"It's a mousehole, you said you didn't mind sharing."