Whip Collector Pillows

'Now we're going to test your reflexes.'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Cow's straw

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Teapot

Used wheels

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

"Quick swig first?"

Portfolio, 2011

Playing cards.

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

Old Spice

Wine tasting

Red Wine

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

Wine of the Day Club

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

Nouveau wine

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

'Well, sure, two pair is nice but nothing beats five singles!'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'Red for me, please.'

'I think we're all safe now. Go ahead and say spatlese.'

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

"I've got a chip implant, so if I stray from the neighborhood, I'm a chip off the old block."

Aberdeen Smoking the Pipe of Peace - Aberdeen and France at War with Russia

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."