Clipper Collector Pillows

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

Teapot

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

"Just the slippers is fine!"

'I'm sorry about the slippers...but I do need the roghage.'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

"Too much club."

'Do you come here often?'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

"I'm down here, Mona. That's your slipper."

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

"Not until you fetch the other one."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

'I'm still working on the mystery of how to make a decent living with a tip jar.'

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

'You had me at hell.'

"Joel Daniels: Live from behind the CVS"

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2

Baroque Bach Mountain

"Oh I don't work here, I just love filling out forms."

At the CD shop.