Nose Clip Collector Pillows

"No offense."

Silence of the Chickens...

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Dog in love

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

Vendor selling testosterone.

Woman applying makeup

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"More concealer?"

'I'm looking for a toothpaste that combats Tokyo, Kansas city and Suburban Portland along the gum line.'

"Well I got a dog because I wanted to spend more time brushing hair off my clothes, and picking up poop."

Bob would learn the hard way that dogs are color-blind.

'I'm still working on the mystery of how to make a decent living with a tip jar.'

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

"Your aunt wants to know what we're doing these days, so I'm sending her a picture of our fridge."

Money clip liquidation sale.

'This is where I keep my gum.'

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

"Oh I don't work here, I just love filling out forms."

Steven Tyler's toothbrush.

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"

"You know, Socrates said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living,' however, in your case, Edwin, it might be a blessing."

"If you won't brush or floss could you at least run your tongue over your teeth once in a while?"

'I can't brush between meals. I'm sleeping then.'

Brush With Death

Bill Jones - Bill Jones w/out makeup

'Sorry, but strong healthy teeth are of huge importance in hunting: That's why you have to brush your teeth!'

Mooseturizer

'Ever get that down in the mouth feeling?'

Construction is fine, but I'm more interested in development.

'Bucky,I'm not going to duel you over a clipboard!'

Avon lady (selling foundation cream) tapping a builder on the shoulder.