Gum Collector Pillows

'This is where I keep my gum.'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Bert's dog training.'

Women's Bonnets Block the Audience View

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

An Unexpected Guest.

Silence of the Chickens...

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Eat me"

"Beanirrito"

Jazz is Invented

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Cake Free Zone

Bubble gum leaves

I love the Shard

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Scarf puts hat back on.

A watch face with Stonehenge

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'