Snuff Collector Pillows

Man explaining why he prefers snuff to smoking

The Missing Sock Returns

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

Bubble Gum Dispenser

"I'm in disguise."

"Pass that."

S**t Threw a Goose

"You realize one of us is not coming back."

The Houseplant Cemetery.

'He got a hole in one today.'

"Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes..."

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

Has socks and foot stools of every kind sale.

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

A complimentary biscuit

Shaquille O'Neal donates his old socks to boy scouts.

"Of course it's not a mirage - mirages don't wear Chanel No 5."

"What pheromone are you using?"

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

'This is where I keep my gum.'

"I said more sex, Barry, more SEX!"

'A wine list? How prosaic. This is our list of lists: beer, wine, single malt scotch, water, soda, cognac...'

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

'That bacon sarnie fragrance gets them every time!'

"You might consider new socks as well."

'This one will bring him to his knees. And this one will start the proposal.'

'I'm a jester -- my socks aren't supposed to match!'