Clipper Collector T-Shirts

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

Teapot

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

"Just the slippers is fine!"

'I'm sorry about the slippers...but I do need the roghage.'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'Do you come here often?'

"Too much club."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"I'm down here, Mona. That's your slipper."

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

So close... Yet so far.

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"Not until you fetch the other one."

Doug tries to impress his blind date with his expansive collection of Charo CDs.

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

'I'm still working on the mystery of how to make a decent living with a tip jar.'

"For only five dollars more, the guy let me have the 'Smart Hammer.'"

At the CD shop.

Baroque Bach Mountain

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

"Joel Daniels: Live from behind the CVS"

'You had me at hell.'

'Did you just hear that? Scientist say we are now an endangered species and mating should be our top priority!'