Times Table Tactician Gifts

'What's 8x9?' - '72' - '...and what's 9x8?' - '27' - 'Not quite, Nigel... have another go.' - 'Oh, it burns... it burns.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Golf lessons

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

Carlo Ancelotti

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

"We're looking for someone who'll be available twenty four-seven."

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

Colin had finished the 'One Minute Manager' and was now practising the 3467 minute tea break.

'This board meeting will come to order!'

'Curses! My eyes were closed.'

Snooker.

Ready to move when the other guy blinks.

"Try caressing the ball with your bat."

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

"I told them I was sick of working all hours...and that I intended to stick to my hours and get home to give my son a bath and bedtime book....unfortunately he'd turned into a 26 year old commodities broker while I was in meetings!"

'The break is over, guys. It's time we got back to our 'Poker Addiction Support Group.''

Arsene Wenger

Golf

"I'm not attracted to him and we don't get along, but the timing is right."

"I can't remember - do I work at home or do I live at work?"

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

"Face it - there is no good time to get married, have children, and move to Jersey."

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

No caption (A ball boy crouches by the net on a ping pong table as a game is being played).

Coo coo clocks make a cats job easier.

'It's not what you buy. It's when you buy.'

'I was there the day we were married. Talk about bad timing.'