Time-traveling Parent Gifts

'Once-upon-a-time about two years ago...'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Historical memory is on life support.

Moses on the web

'That's about it so far, Son.'

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

The Missing Sock Returns

Second hand furniture.

E=mc2.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Early model of baggage claim"

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

Time for vacation, time for work.

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

Danger Slow Sand.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I don't know who you are!"

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

You had me at vintage.

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'