Time-traveling Parent Pillows

'Once-upon-a-time about two years ago...'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Historical memory is on life support.

Moses on the web

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"We're following Carrot Top."

Second hand furniture.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

Time for vacation, time for work.

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Danger Slow Sand.

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"I don't know who you are!"

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

You had me at vintage.

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

The power of now