Time Traveler In Spirit Gifts

"The hell with the past --- I'd like to put the future behind us."

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"Where there's smoke there's fire, at least there will be after someone invents fire."

Minutemen in training.

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"We're following Carrot Top."

Second hand furniture.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Desmond likes to live in the moment. . . and that moment happens to be 1960."

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

Sundial Time

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Time Machine Collision

Time for vacation, time for work.

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Danger Slow Sand.

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"I don't know who you are!"

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'