Time-saving Chef Gifts

TV Chef Cooking Range

'Here's to the frozen food aisles at the supermarket!'

'Like death by salad.'

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

"Ah! The Amazing Mommy and her tray of condiments!"

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

A man flips a pancake onto a child's head

"So...that's B11, C8, F5, and A3?"

Making Christmas Pudding.

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

Microwave confusion.

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

"Who wants to help Grandma make her famous gingerbread man cookies? You kids get the flour, eggs, and sugar, and I'll get the protoplasm and epithelial tissue."

"We merged to save through volume buying."

"Mom, vegetables may help me grow and give me energy, but what if I want to be short and underachieving?"

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

'The vast potential of stem cells...and we use them to make a hamburger!'

"I never think about cholesterol when I'm on vacation."

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

"You don't use a cookbook, Tia Carmen?"

'No wonder somebody caught it, it's legs are tied.'

'For this dish we're going to need two bottles of good quality red wine. And that's before we even start cooking.'

Frittering a Banana by Electricity.

'No pudding until you finish your oxtail soup!'

'What do you mean, you're not hungry? - Your mother spent two minutes cooking that in the microwave just for you!'

Grandchildren's Menu: Whatever's on your plate and no funny business

Continue eating. Pay no attention to me. I'm from the food and drug administration.

"I'm sorry, due to budget cuts we had to reduce kitchen staff."