Simplified Chef Gifts

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

'Like death by salad.'

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

Little chef.

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"I'm making pink lemonade!"

"Ah! The Amazing Mommy and her tray of condiments!"

'You can't have a drumstick because this is roast beef.'

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

TV Chef Cooking Range

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

Scales

'I'm so glad to hear that your teeth are falling out too, Manfred - I thought it was my mom's cooking!'

Making Christmas Pudding.

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

"Who wants to help Grandma make her famous gingerbread man cookies? You kids get the flour, eggs, and sugar, and I'll get the protoplasm and epithelial tissue."

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"So...that's B11, C8, F5, and A3?"

A man flips a pancake onto a child's head

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

'Eat your carrots. They are good for growing children.'

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

"And the kitchen is ideal for people who like to eat out."

"How am I supposed to cook? The internet is down."

"We merged to save through volume buying."

'It needs more dirt.'

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

"Mom, vegetables may help me grow and give me energy, but what if I want to be short and underachieving?"