Culinary Simplifier Gifts

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

Soup of the month.

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'Any questions?'

"My compliments to the can opener."

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

Boss: '...Let's not forget who our customers are!' (It turns out they just have one left).

'I've taken the liberty of simplifying the latest data.'

DOH should create a simple prevalence formula that works.

'I'm going to grow a beard when I get older.'

"You're right! It is much easier to explain it this way!"

Interior Un-Decorator: We Help You Downsize!

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

"If it says to add water, and I'm the one who adds it, I'm cooking."

Health Regime Change: No Fry Zone

We find this model works better for us!

"Let me see if I have it correctly, sir. To hell with the appetizer. A chopped sirloin that damn well better be rare. No goddam relish tray. Who cares which salad dressing, since they all taste like sludge?"

"Profit, loss, why must you all make everything so complicated?"

"You've got to admit their outright elimination of the hamburger was a stroke of sheer financial genius!"

Pre-digested convenience foods.

Simplify Your Life Conference, 1,000s of Exhibits.

'Could you dumb it down a little?'

"I thought about what you said and I've outlined a plan."

'We need to agree a target date for identifying the targets in our target reduction strategy.'

''The wheels on the bus go round and round'? - THIS is your physics homework?'

'Brilliant - cold porridge and stale bread again!'

'We no longer serve trans-fats. Would you like some lettuce broth?'

I decided to simplify my life!

Somebody simplified our marketing plan.

'Can I have mine straight onto the plate and not on a bed of something?'

My Marie Kondo Drawer

Masters of Sameness